| 6/2/2006 When I Was a Kid ... I once believed that when I stood in the middle of the yard and spun around, I was spinning the world under me like you would spin a plate. I knew this was true, because if I looked down, my feet weren't moving hardly at all – it was the ground under them that was spinning, and I had managed to do that. • I only half-believed that my mother had a leprechaun named Sean who told her all of the bad things that we had done. Bad in those days was pretty mild – like spilling a glass of water, not bashing in your neighbor's skull because he didn't like your shirt. So when our mother said that Sean had told her that we had knocked over the plants in the living room, I figured that someone else had ratted us out. My brother, Tim, totally bought into the leprechaun theory, not that he would admit it today. However, because he's half-Irish, it's understandable. • I wasn't really that gullible as a kid, although I was naive and continue to be to a small degree. • My brother, sister and I once thought that a very close friend of the family died because she couldn't find her car keys. We never gave much thought to how ridiculous this is, but at the time it made sense. • I think someone once tried to trick me into hunting for "snipe." It didn't work. Even I wasn't that gullible. • When I was about 5, I tried to make a magic potion using a bunch of different things I found around the house. I wasn't going to drink it, although I thought it might have some mystical qualities. I think I used dishwashing soap, water and a number of insecticides. I think I was reaching for another ingredient when my mom interrupted me. She made me throw the concoction over the hillside. I'm surprised it didn't start a forest fire. • At least once a year, I prove how naive I am. I never tell anyone when this happens. • I believed in Santa Claus, but I think that was mostly because Tim tricked me. I remember one year he said he heard reindeer hooves on the roof. It probably was squirrels. Did I believe in the Easter Bunny? Please. A big stupid rabbit brings you eggs and chocolate? I don't think so. That doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy every Easter basket I ever got. That's a different thing. • I never believed in the luck of the Irish, and I really didn't like wearing a little green leprechaun on my shirt for St. Patrick's Day. I mean, have you seen my picture? Who am I fooling? Even I knew this. I know, everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day. And maybe I'm being too pragmatic, and I should just celebrate the spirit of the day and not worry about the need to have the cultural connection. I did grow up with an Irish mother, so I guess that qualifies. My therapy sessions begin next month. |