When I was growing up, fear was the No. 1 motivator, and the source of that fear was my mother. I don't know if I could call her mean -- perhaps stern is a better word. Old school ... "I'll kick your butt because you need it."

A funny story came to mind. When we were about 10 or 11, my parents decided that my brother, my sister and the neighbors who were roughly the same age had gotten to the point where we could stay at home unsupervised. As it turned out, they were off by a few years.

When the parents went out to dinner one Saturday night, we got the bright idea that the beds would make good trampolines. I think I was almost able to reach the ceiling on one of the jumps. We might have heard a few cracks, but we were having too much fun to worry about minor things -- such as the wooden frames of the box springs.

Later that night there was hell to pay. And now that I think about it, I'd like to know how they knew the box springs were broken. Did they come in the door and head straight for the kids' beds to check the box springs? Yes, now that I think about it, I think someone ratted on us.

It was probably one of the sisters -- they couldn't keep their mouths shut. It's a trait that would show up again as women passed into and out of my life.

I vaguely recall my brother and I getting hauled out of bed at 1 a.m. ... well to get a beating. I think that's about the only way to put it. And so ended our trampoline adventures in the house.

Fast forward a few years and by now I had left the house. Fear had vanished as life's motivator, because my mommy no longer was the boss of me. Let's move it forward four years and a day, when the U.S. government stopped being the boss of me, and I was no longer an Air Force sergeant. By the way, I was a good soldier and never regret having served my country. I'll write my feelings on that some day.

I'd like to say that I drifted through life, but that really isn't true. I've been thinking about it this year, and lack of money has on occasion been a motivator. Failure to pay the mortgage is a great motivator.

But that's such a momentary (and monetary) thing. The great motivator has to be something else. Maybe it's simply a desire to do better, be better and find something in life that transcends a paycheck and having a nice car and house.

So while I do great things at work, my reasons are complex. I can't explain it here, because maybe I don't know the reason myself.

The search continues ...

 
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