One of the phrases that simply sets me into a kick-the-dog, slam-some-doors, yell-at-my-neighbor outrage is "you won't believe ..." that every TV personality apparently has to memorize before being put onto the air.

The stupidity of that statement is apparent to me. I don't recall seeing anything on the evening news or one of those insipid entertainment shows and then saying to myself, "I don't believe that."

Plus, I'm just sick of hearing that phrase, which has to be uttered daily in a TV news or gossip show promo spot.

Of course, I'm apparently even dumber(er) than the idiot who uses the phrase, because I usually say out loud, "I will believe it. Just tell me." So there I stand in my living room, talking to the television, which will never answer or acknowledge me.

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Returning to the fantasy world of television, one things strikes me. I have found a couple of shows that are pretty darn good. The one television trend that I hated -- absolutely HATED -- was the reality show.

Talk about the idiot box. I know that reality TV was extremely popular, but most of those shows are sheer stupidity.

-- "Survivor" Let's see, a dozen idiots on an island and other idiots vote them off ... based on what? And then the least stupid or the most stupid (depending on your personal value system) gets a million dollars.

-- "Who Want to Marry a Millionaire" Otherwise known as "Which Idiot Wants to Marry Another Idiot." Plenty of people lined up on both sides. Talentless morons whose only attribute was their ability to flash a brainless smile. OK, so that was mean and probably overstated things a little bit. Didn't the first "millionaire" ended up being some kind of scoundrel.

-- "The Biggest Loser" How mean was this show? If you didn't lose enough wait, you got bumped off the show, which made you a loser. A fat loser, according to the show. That should plenty for your psyche.

-- "The Amazing Race" Is that the name? I don't think I've watched more than three seconds of these shows.

The thing that I find so stupid is that people on these shows actually cry! About ... what? Being voted off an island? Or because you didn't get to marry a fool? Oh please.

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OK, I'm all done. You can return to your life.

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Oh wait. I have a confession to make. I actually watched a semi-reality, Oprah-for-men show. It stars former bar bouncer, former wrestler, former A-Team member, that's right, Mr. T.

Appropriately, his show is called, "I Pity the Fool."

 
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